Park Bench Society

The speakers not far above me was announcing the flight to Greece. I
sat still on my bench and deeply enhaled the smoke from my Marlboro in
the small aquarium - like smoking cubicle.

I
looked at my watch and took a mental note of the time and calculating
the time I have left before I required to hand in my boarding pass to
that petite but full - bodied and sensual looking ground crew attendant with the high splitting body hugging qi pao dress. I decided that there is still enough time to look for a nice cozy corner table and order a cup of espresso.

I stood up from my bench and carrying my only hand carry luggage
which is my backpack laptop case I walked toward the nearest pub and
started to search for an empty corner table. I could immediately see
all corner tables were empty as if they were waiting for me and
watching me smoking myself to death in that see through glass cubicle.
I chose the corner table located nearest to the gate and next to the
Deli Shop. After ordering my single espresso I again heard the
announcement for the flight to Greece.

My mind then formed a picture of one of the Greek island, Santorini
and the blinding all white cubism buildings stacked on a towering cliff
facing the sea. Opened window to a white cemented balcony with colorful
flowers growing from a clay pot. The sound of seagulls was heard
together with the sea breeze bringing the smell of the ocean onto the
balcony and into the bedroom with oversize bed that has a slept - in
look from the rumpled white sheets. The morning sun is accompanying a
small breakfast table with white tablecloth and two cups of coffee and
plates of toasted bread. I could see the image of butter and a stack of
pancakes with maple syrup at one side of the table eagerly awaiting for
whoever made it moments ago to taste the rich mix of flour and milk
together with sweet honey.

My espresso came and momentarily disturb me from that nice imagery
of morning breakfast at that terrace by the sea. I took small sip of my
espresso and start looking around my corner table. I stop at the
direction of the Deli Shop next to my table and could sniff the smell
of the typical delicatessen products being display at the rack closest
to me. My eyes then caught the sight of the name plate of the shop, PJ
Deli.

I looked closer at the racks and could see a line of small bottled
jams that were lining up on the top shelf of the rack. Looking very
closely now at the line up bottles I could see a yellow color bottle of
marmalade jam. As if knowing I was looking at it the marmalade bottle
seemed to willingly opened its close cap and offered the sweet scent of
fresh orange skin toward my direction. This flow of smell formed an
intimate union of scents with my espresso which made my blood rush and
almost unconciously I started to deeply sniff my espresso as if I
worship that small cup of coffee.

I knew now what to add to the white clothed breakfast table in the
balcony facing the sea, a bottle of marmalade jam. That fresh marmalade
scent will flow inside to the white sheet oversize bed and formed a
perfect union with the left over intimate smell from the night before.

As I took my last sip I heard my flight was being announced. I stood
up and walked toward that ground crew attendant who was busy checking
the boarding pass of the passengers getting into the jetbrige. As the
distance to where she stood became nearer, I wondered what she would
looked like lying in that oversize bed.  Her skin half covered with
white sheet in an all white cubism style house by the sea, mixed with
the scents of marmalade skin from the breakfast table in a white
balcony blew in by the morning sea breeze.

Image Source: http://www.ikies.com/studios/studios1.jpg

"You did what ??!" I remembered screaming that before waking up. I looked at the digital number on my cell phone, 5.24 am. Damn, the stupid bad dream which I couldn’t even remember what was it all about now is making me wide awake. I looked around my bedroom still not wanting to be parted from the warmth cocoon of my comforter and try to search for the daylight coming through the crack of my bedroom window curtain. It was still dark outside. I lie there underneath my blanket and looked again at my W550i Walkman phone, 5.27 am.

"Might as well get out of bed" I thought to myself. I threw the comforter off my body, and felt the chill of the air conditioned room. Walking toward my desk I grabbed the cold mug of coffee from last night and took it with me. I sat down in the chair and sipped my cold coffee while looking out the window. The sky is still grayish in color from the deficit of sunrise which should appear in the next few minutes. In the stillness of this early morning silence I can hear the Ikea wall clock ticking showing the time to be 5.29 am.

"What are you doing ?" I said.
"The usual, preparing for breakfast"
"You drink your milk yet ?" I asked again.
"Of course, I’m making tofu now"
"How many, two as usual ?" I was half guessing and asking at the same time.
"Yup, you had breakfast yet?"
"I will later, maybe Belgian waffle" I said grinning to myself at the thought of having the hot thick waffle with butter and maple syrup.
"Be right back, I think my tofu is done"

I look back out the window and can now see the sun already out. The red hibiscus flower that grew on one of the tallest branch near the window is wet from the morning mist. I turned on the TV and switch the channel to the morning news. Not really watching I turned back to the view from my window and take another sip of my cold coffee.

"I’m back"
"Hey there, you had your tofu?" I asked.
"Yes"
"That was quick" I said.
"You ate yet?"
"Nope, later" I answered.
"Don’t forget your vitamins"
"I won’t" smiling at the reminder.

The voice of the newscaster on TV is now switching to Mandarin. I watch the sub-title text to follow the news a little bit.

"Be right back again, k?"
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"I’m just going to take out the the laundry and hang them to dry"
"K" I replied shortly.

All of a sudden I heard the scream of the alarm from my cell phone. My hand frantically came out from underneath the warm comforter trying to search for the noisy handset to shut it off. I looked at the digital number display, 8.00 am.

I lie still for a moment feeling the warmth cocoon of my comforter and playing back the dream I just had. A short and forgotten bad dream within a nice long dream. I then threw the comforter off my body and walked towards the door.

I miss the two soybeans rituals.
I miss the view from the window.

I open my bedroom door and head straight to the kitchen to make myself a fresh brewed coffee. Passing by the Ikea wall clock the time is now 8.05 am.

Image Source: Agedashi Tofu

Di kantor sekitar jam 9 malam, di ruang kerja ku

"marketing is the fight of perception…..baca nih" katanya sambil menunjukkan majalah Mix edisi baru.
"nah, udah tuh cukup buat jadi dasar ….contoh kesalahan fatal dari kebanyakan big brand" kata yang satu lagi."Pertamina tuh contohnya" lanjutnya lagi.
"marketing war is not in the market but in the mind" lanjut si pemegang majalah lagi dengan gaya sok taunya mengutip Jack Trout.

Tiba - tiba si satu lagi berdiri dari kursi dan menulis dengan black marker di papan tulis yang tergantung dekat dengan meja kerjaku.

fish eater vs visitor
fun racing vs fund raising
ten issues vs tennis shoes

"apaan sih?" aku nyeletuk sambil menyalakan lagi rokok untuk yang entah ke berapa ratus kali hari itu. Marathon meeting dari pagi sampai sore, belum sekarang disambung dengan harus menunggu budgeting yang sedang dihitung untuk di submit ke klien besok pagi - pagi. Haiyah….stressful abiz.

"ga penting banget ya?" jawabnya sambil masih berdiri di depan papan tulis.
"mayan ga penting sih, tapi gue hobi ngumpulin pengetahuan yang useless seperti itu" jawabku sambil tertawa.

"ini ada satu yang gue ga ngerti" katanya lagi sambil mulai menulis.

quitters never win, and winners never quit
quit while you’re ahead

"saling bertentangan ga sih?" katanya lagi. "sopo iki sing bikin dulu?" lanjutnya.
"mber..." jawabku.

"to be or not to be" si pemegang majalah tiba - tiba ngomong. Aku dan si juru tulis melihat kearah nya bersamaan.

"apa coba maksudnya?" kataku.
"tau nih, suka ngomong kata - kata besar tapi di luar konteks" jawab si juru tulis.
"keep your friend close but your enemy closer" si pemegang majalah cuek nyrocos terus.

Aku bangkit dari kursiku dan mencari OB untuk minta dibuatkan teh manis. It’s going to be a damn long night……

Sewaktu kembali ke ruangan aku melihat sebuah tulisan baru di papan tulisku.

..she sells sea shells

The usual morning ritual properties consisting of a cup of hot black coffee and the day’s newspaper were already placed on top of the desk. On the background the voice of a news presenter from the television giving the first breaking news of the day can be heard slightly. The female newscaster’s voice which was now turned into Mandarin after delivering the English news version was barely heard as the volume was turned low and just enough to travelled the hearing distance just in case there was some really important news that needed attention.

The scent of the freshly brewed coffee flowed out the open window of this second floor room passing the wet roof garden of an open outdoor space adjacent to the room. The rain that fell at dawn a few hours ago still left its mark on the wet rooftop and on the tropical garden below. Raindrops can still be seen rested on the Hibiscus flowers . This tropical plant was tall enough that some of its dark red flowers could be seen trying to climbed up to the edge of the window. I remembered the day I bought that plant about two years ago was only as tall as my knees.

I shifted my view from the window and looked around my room and can still felt the chill from the air condition until I shut it off moments ago. The left over man - made chill mixed with the natural breeze of an "after the rain" morning from the open window gave me this autumn - like feelings replacing the usual tropical morning weather. Meanwhile, the shinny wet roof and raindrops still clinging on the flowers and the scent of musky wet earth somehow approriately added the overall feeling of a breezy autumn day.

I’m looking at the red Hibiscus flower now. No raindrop rest on it. The sun is shinning brigthly and hot. No time to even turn on the TV and barely finish my instant semi- hot coffee.

It’s been a long while and I really miss that view from a window….

Image source: http://www.ikies.com/

…"Yes, it’s about time !"
"Maksud loe?" tanya dia sambil menghembuskan lagi asap rokok ke udara. Mataku menonton gumpalan asap melayang - layang dan kemudian tersedot exhaust fan yang terpasang persis di atas meja kami. "Suck it hard, baby" khayalanku kembali bermain sendiri sambil melirik kearah bar dimana tadi aku bertemu Nadine.
"Apaan yang about time bro, udah pantesnya gue suntuk maksud loe ?" katanya lagi sambil menutup laptop Sony Vaio 12 Inch nya dan membungkusnya dengan tas kecil yang terbuat dari semacam bahan untuk diving wetsuit berwarna hitam. "Kondom laptop nya keren juga" aku berkomentar dalam hati.
"Bukan, lama banget untuk nyampe ke meja ini dari pintu. Rame banget sih malem ini ?" jawabku setengah bertanya.
"Perseverance bro, perseverance….hidup ini butuh ketekunan dan kesabaran" jawabnya dengan gayanya yang khas seakan sedang membeberkan rahasia hidup yang luar biasa penting .
"Buset dah, dalem pak….beneran suntuk abis loe kayanya". Dia tidak menjawab dan kembali menghembuskan asap rokoknya ke udara. Mataku kembali menonton adegan ulangan felatio di udara. Bau cengkeh dari rokok kretek kegemarannya itu menghapus sisa-sisa akhir aroma jeruk nipis dan oyster yang masih bertengger di alam bawah sadar pikiranku.
"This song can really bring the mood to the lowest level of any soul" katanya lagi sambil menghabiskan sisa bir di gelasnya.

..And so it is
..The shorter story
..No Love, no glory
..No hero in her sky

Duduk di hadapannya aku dapat menangkap sedikit cuplikan lirik dari lagu yang keluar dari speaker Bose yang terpasang di setiap sudut tempat ini.
"Lagu nya sapa nih, bros ?" aku bertanya kepadanya.
"Ngga tau" jawabnya singkat. Dia berdiri melepas jaket kulit model bikers nya dan kemudian mengangkat tangannya untuk memanggil waitress yang sedang lewat dekat meja kami.
"Bir dua lagi ya May" katanya kepada si waitress yang memakai baju hem putih longgar dan apron hitam panjang.
Aku diam saja membiarkan dia memesan bir untuk kita berdua. Sebuah ritual lama yang selalu dia lakukan apabila kita sedang berada di bar.
"Pakabs Dante….lama ngga keliatan" sapa Mayar si waitress sambil mencatat pesanan kami berdua.
"Baik, eh ini lagu siapa sih May?" tanyaku.
"The Blower’s Daughter …lagunya Damien Rice dari film Closer. Sebentar ya aku ambilin bir nya" katanya sambil beranjak dari meja.
"Blower’s daughter…..apa tuh artinya?" kata Pally.
"Ngga tau…but I used to know an ambassador’s daughter once. Ga sama ya?" jawabku sambil terkekeh.
"hehehe, that’s old story men. Eh ngobrol ama sapa tadi loe di bar?"
"Sama Nadine, belom nyapa dia kesini?" jawabku
"Tuh lagi jalan kesini doi"
"Hey gorgeous" suara halus dibelakangku terdengar menyapa temanku.
"Nadine, what the fuck is a blower’s daughter? blow job atau apa?" temanku
membalas sapaan Nadine.
"Hah, blow who’s daughter? segitu kangennya loe ama gue, baby?"
"Kangen kangen banget sih ga tapi kalo blom ada bini ama anak empat I wouldn’t mind you drag me to the toilet now and discuss about who’s blowing who"
"Ah Dan, you’re pally is still the outspoken muthafukka as always" Nadine tertawa sambil bersandar di bahuku.
"Outspoken and honest as always, Nad" jawab temanku.
"Ngga nyambung banget dialognya dua orang ini" aku bergumam dalam hati sambil kembali melirik exhaust fan di atasku lalu beralih ke Mayar yang datang membawa dua gelas bir.

"Empat ?, bukannya loe punya tiga brandals laki?" tanya Nadine.
"Baru dapet cewe tiga bulan yang lalu"
"Wow, selamat selamat. Seneng banget kalian pasti akhirnya dapet baby girl" Nadine beranjak dari bahuku dan mencium temanku.
"Thank’s Nad, she added colors to my life now. I see plenty of colours thru my children eyes, bapak nya sudah meluntur color nya" jawab temanku.
"Ngga lah, you’re still as savage as I first knew you baby. Not to mention the most honest guy I ever knew" kata Nadine sambil memeluk temanku.
"Melankolis abis, plis de" aku nyeletuk sambil meneguk bir dinginku.
"Savage quality is meluntur bro, the sign of old age and mind" temanku menjawab sambil nyengir.
"Oke guys, got to get back to my circle now, salam buat Zeska and the kids ya, baby" kata Nadine.
"Bye Nad" koor kita berdua membalas pamitan Nadine.

"So, apalagi yg baru lately in your life Pally ?" tanya temanku.
"Ga banyak, still obsess about myself. The same emotional turmoil and confusion. same old thing"
"Tell me something I dont know…"
"I dont think I can, Pally" jawabku 
"Thats my Pal O Mino, the same emotional turmoil and confusion forever"
"Siyap!. story of my life. The only different is now I have a caring and loving wife who put up with all my shits and I’m grateful for that" jawabku.
"Bener boss, honesty, perseverance dan gratefullness. At the end of the day life is all about them" kata si Pally sambil matanya mencari Mayar lagi. Setelah sukses memanggil Mayar untuk dua gelas bir lagi si Pally kembali bertanya.
"Speaking about ambassador’s daughter, do you know why she broke up with me that time?"
"Ga tau, kenapa emang"
"I DONT FUCKING KNOW THATS WHY I’M ASKING YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT KNOW SOMETHING I DONT..HA.. HA.. HA" si Pally berteriak sambil tertawa.
"Lucu abiz nih..sumpe" jawabku sambil tertawa keras juga.
"Gue ketemu si Hari di airport KL minggu lalu, terus dia nanya kenapa gue ga jadi sama si putri dubes itu" lanjut si Pally.
"Tuh orang ga punya hal yang lebih penting lagi di kepalanya sampe nanya soal kaya gitu?" kataku sambil menghabiskan sisa-sisa tertawaku. "secara stuck in the past, gitu lho" lanjutku lagi.
"The only good thing about the past is only one thing and one thing only, it’s ours" jawab si Pally.
"Jadi loe juga sampe sekarang ga tau alasen sebenernya kenapa waktu itu putus?" tanyaku.
"Nope" jawabnya singkat.
"I guess being honest to our true feelings is not so easy" aku bergumam sendiri.
"Maksudnya?" tanya si Pally
"Ya kalo sampe ga tau alesannya kenapa then someone is not being honest about something, gitu lho"
"Maybe not" kata si Pally "…and the shitty shit that shit the shit is that this damn song for sure does not help my state of mood….Mayar !" lanjutnya sambil memanggil Mayar.

Aku kembali melirik exhaust fan diatas. Honesty, Perseverance, and Gratefulness. Being honest to ourselves and our feelings needs perseverance and it could lead to being grateful of what we have now. Without the last two I probably already kill myself….mataku kembali menonton adegan favoritku antara si asap dan si kipas exhaust sambil merenungkan apa yang baru saja terjadi.
"Mayar…..bisa pasangin Brother to Brother nya Gino Vanelli ngga?" tanyaku sambil mengambil gelas bir ketiga dari tangannya.

..Brother to brother
..Now don’t let the devil get you down
..Oh ’cause it’s bread and it’s butter
..That makes this whole damn world
..Round and round

"Cakep mister lagunya…..ngomong-ngomong gimana ceritanya nih soal We’re Brothers Movement dengan de gandaz?" si Pally berkata sambil menyentuhkah gelas birnya ke gelasku.

Baca Putri Duta Besar (Bag 1) dan (Bag 2)

Image - Cover Design South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami