Archive for October, 2005

Caffeine & Nicotine

Friday, October 28th, 2005

Coffeecigarattes + So what’s new ?
- My crush….on and off, on and off, on and off
+ So is it on or off now?
- It’s off right now…..damn that guy
+ Brutal…..
- Apanya ?
+The jungle of the single world
- Hahahahaha
+ Ngga se simple film Tarzan jaman dulu
- Gimana tuh?
+ Me Tarzan, you Jane….let’s do bang-bang in my tree house
- Hahahahahahaha……
————————————————————————————————-
+ Liat deh, you’ll like it
- Terlalu drama gitu lho
+ Ngga lah, aku kan tau selera kamu
- Ok, I’ll take a look at it
+ Meskipun plot nya romantisme biasa tapi setting nya keren abaz
- Like what ?
+ Hong Kong in the 60’s and lots of rainy days
- Rain ?…..hmnnnnn. Menarik juga
+ Cerita nya keluar lebih dari setting dan angle-angle shot daripada dari dialog…really cool
- Metaphors ?
+ Ya gitu deh. There’s this one scene where the guy is talking to a tree
- As long as there is rain it’s ok by me. Wet street too ?
+ Yup. You know I love it too
- What ?
. I love rain
- Rain, where are you?. He loves you…..
+ Biarin aja, ga usah dipanggil. Kalo lagi di kangenin emang suka jaga jarak

————————————————————————————————-
+ Dasar kambing…
- Hehehe kambing….dulu katanya bebek-bebek primadona ?
+ Udah pada ngerasa paling pinter gitu lho…
- "Out of the box thinking", they think.
+ Kampret lah, cuman bisa ngekor doang…apanya yang out of the box?
- Para katak dalam tempurung
+ Hehe…katak tak berotak
- Yoehh jeki, gimana mikir di luar kotak kalo otak aja ngga ada ?
+ Fuck them lah. It’s all about "No box" thinking anyway now
- Siap !. Be fearless and just throw the damn fucking box away

————————————————————————————————-
+ Want me to lend it to you or you want to buy it yourself?
- I’ll borrow it from you
+ No problem….but when are we going to meet again?
- Anytime. I’m not busy and as long as you don’t have to go off to remote places
  again for that damn shooting.
+ It’s really good you know
- Yeah I know, I read the review before
+ I mean you can feel the vibes of the city even if you’ve never been there
- You know why I never really bother to see it before?
+ Why ?
- Too close for comfort. The damn story is too much like my life
- Hahahahaha…
+ But I guess it’s time to face reality isn’t it?
- What, you’re facing your reality by deciding to watch this movie ?
+ Yeah…no that sounds stupid isn’t ?
- People usually watch movies to momentarily escape from their dreaded reality
+ Yes, and I watch it to face my reality ? How do you figure that ?
- Well, to quote what the girl say in "Bewitched"… "…..there is no solution, we’re  in Coffee Bean" ….hahahaha.
+ That’s funny. I haven’t seen that one either. By the way, why aren’t we in Coffee Bean now?
- You’re the one who wanted to meet here
+ That damn place is too mainstream anyway. It’s kindda nice here though…….you could watch the rain outside
- Yeah, but the shades in the windows makes me a bit claustrophobic though
+ Just focus on me, gurl….
- Hahahahaha…..

————————————————————————————————-
Inspired from the movie
Coffee and Cigarettes. A film by Jim Jarmusch starring Roberto Benigni, Iggy Pop, Tom Waits, Cate Blanchet, Bill Murray, Steve Wright, Steve Coogan and many others.

Similar title post: Looking For Love  Over Nicotine And Caffeine by Silly Sushi on My Mundane Life

Sumpah

Friday, October 28th, 2005

October 28, 1928 : Sumpah Pemuda
Satu Nusa, Satu Bangsa, Satu Bahasa

October 28, 2005 : Sumpah Serapah *
Kompensasi BBM a la Sinterklas
Kenaikan tunjangan anggota DPR
Jerat Kemiskinan
Korupsi
Beras dan gula impor
Anggaran Presiden
Minyak oplosan
Mafia peradilan
Rupiah melemah
Illegal Logging
Egoisme kelompok, pribadi dan primordialisme
Konsumerisme "Orang Kaya Baru"
Sinetron dan infotainment kampungan
Masalah TPA sampah….

Di 2005 sampah bukan dikelola tapi justru ber jas dan berdasi ria, naik mobil mewah, ngomong seenaknya dan bertindak semaunya.

Satu nusa, satu bangsa, satu bahasa….
"Negara kardus yang penuh dengan manusia kertas." **

*  Inspirasi dari tulisan Mona "Sumpah Serapah Buat DPR RI" di Cahaya Lentera
** Dikutip dari Negara Kardus ditulis oleh Savage.

Kerja apa Mimpi ?

Friday, October 28th, 2005

MimpiBagaimana sebuah mimpi bekerja? berapa banyak macam mimpi dalam kehidupan ini ? apakah kerja mimpi dalam tidur sama dengan mimpi untuk mencapai sesuatu atau mimpi berkhayal bertemu dengan seorang teman atau kekasih?

Seberapa tebal perbedaan mimpi dengan cita-cita? Dapatkah kita hidup tanpa mimpi, cita-cita atau khayalan? seberapa jauh kita dapat membiarkan diri kita terjebak dalam mimpi? Kata mereka mimpi adalah kembang tidur. Apakah itu menandakan khayalan sebagai kembang dari keberadaan kita ataukah sekedar pembelaan dari cita-cita yang tak tersanggupi?. Siapa yang berhak menentukan mimpi kita itu indah atau hanyalah pelarian dari dunia nyata yang kadang tak sesuai dengan apa yang kita harapkan.

Akankah mimpi dapat menjadi sebuah rumah yang nyaman sebagai pelindung dari kegagalan atau rasa kecewa kita? Ataukah rumah itu hanya merupakan tempat singgah sementara sampai kita menemukan jalan yang tepat untuk langkah kita selanjutnya? Berapa lamakah waktu yang tepat untuk menempati rumah tersebut? Kalau suatu pagi kita membuka jendela rumah itu dan melihat rumah-rumah lain disekeliling kita bertambah banyak apakah itu berarti mimpi kita hanya sebuah omong kosong yang dimiliki semua orang ataukah kerja mimpi kita memang sudah berada di jalur yang tepat?.

Sering dan kadang aku berpikir bahwa keberadaan ku hanya terdiri dari sekelompok mimpi-mimpi yang datang dan pergi yang menyebabkan aku sering singgah ditempat yang kadang nyaman untuk ku kadang tidak. Satu hal yang tidak pernah aku sesali adalah mimpi mimpi ku kadang mempertemukan ku dengan mimpi mimpi lain yang bukan milik ku tapi aku menyukainya.

Kembali aku berpikir, mana yang lebih baik? membentuk diri dari sekelompok mimpi mimpi ataukah membentuk diri untuk menjadi sebuah mimpi untuk sekelompok orang?

Paradox in a Bottle

Thursday, October 27th, 2005

One end to another extreme 
Deciding what is best in between
Without getting caught in the mainstream
For I want still to retain the paradox twin

Face

Forgive my sins
From what the heart brings
The truest feelings
Of my secret longings

What’s outside?

Tuesday, October 25th, 2005

Genuine Oil U.S.A
That’s what I see on the outdoor signage from my window now.

"Nyata Kualitasnya"
That’s the tagline. Guess what oil is this ?

Oli Top 1 !
I must be so freaking bored to write something like this. Kebosanan dengan kualitas tingkat tinggi.

Tembok

Tuesday, October 25th, 2005

200117386001_2tembok tipis menerawang
penyekat
tetep aja tembok….

sungai bening menerawang
jembatan
tetep aja terpisah….

Mutiara Hitam

Monday, October 17th, 2005

Mutiara_hitam_3(Terdengar bunyi motor meraung dari bengkel sebelah. Berisik sekali. Laptop ku terbuka diatas meja panjang di ruang kerjanya. Beberapa proof print pernak pernik perhiasan yang terbuat dari mutiara tergeletak di meja itu. Wajahnya kelihatan tegang seperti biasa setiap akan mengikuti pameran perhiasan international. “Kok ga ada yang bagus sih gambarnya buat di print di catalog” katanya uring-urningan. Aku hanya tersenyum. Sudah biasa melihat dia berubah jadi “miss panicky” dan mendengar ocehan nya yang kadang tidak masuk akal. Poto –poto perhiasan yang akan dicetak di catalog sudah sesuai dengan apa yang kita berdua inginkan. Seorang fotografer langganan kita dengan spesialisasi high fashion jewelry sudah memberikan hasil still shots yang maksimal seperti biasanya. Kadang aku heran bagaimana seorang yang gampang panic seperti ini dapat menjadi dive master yang sering melakukan riset bawah laut bahkan sampai ke perairan Karibia dan yang selalu teliti memeriksa setiap kerang yang ada di peternakan bawah laut itu untuk memastikan hasil panen yang bagus.“Liat ini deh” aku coba mengalihkan perhatiannya ke layar monitor laptopku dimana ada gambar design rosario terbuat dari mutiara hitam pesanan sebuah outlet langganan kami dari Eropa. “Hmmm….bagus banget. Simple tapi sangat spiritual”. jawabnya. “Aku selalu suka design - design kamu” sambungnya lagi. Aku hanya tersenyum. Sudah biasa dengan pujiannya atas design perhiasan yang aku buat untuk perusahaan kami berdua itu. “Jadi kapan proof print ini bisa naik cetak, waktunya udah dikit lagi gitu lho” katanya lagi dengan kepanikannya yang tidak beralasan. “Sante aja gitu lho, it’s all been taking care of” kata ku menenangkan dia. "What about the insurance for the shipment?" tanyanya lagi. "Done" jawabku pendek. “God, why do I always feel like a lost little girl every time before an exhibition?” katanya mengeluh. “Udah tenang lah, this is not our first time. Berdoa aja” kataku sambil menghirup kopi panas yang baru saja dia buatkan untuk ku. “I love that rosario” katanya lagi. “ Makasih” kataku sambil kembali mengingat dari mana sebetulnya ide design itu kudapatkan. “Stress banget aku, I need a hug” katanya tiba-tiba sambil menatapku. Aku berdiri menghampiri mejanya dan kupeluk dia dan mengatakan bahwa semua akan baik-baik saja. Dia masih dalam pelukanku ketika suara motor meraung perlahan berganti menjadi …… )

Bunyi lonceng gereja di salah satu sudut Kota Tua (Old City) di Yerusalem. Suara lonceng itu mengiringi langkah seorang pendeta muda dengan jubah hitam panjang yang berjalan cepat kearah Via Dolorosa. Sebuah jalan bersejarah dimana Yesus berjalan beberapa belas abad yang lalu sambil memanggul salib. Raut mukanya kelihatan gelisah meskipun langkah nya tetap tenang dan seakan kakinya sudah sangat mengenal tempat yang akan dituju. Melewati sebuah shouq atau pasar yang di dominasi pedagang Arab dia mendengar suara adzan bergema dari salah satu menara mesjid bersejarah di Kota Tua tersebut memanggil umat Islam untuk melakukan sholat di penghujung senja hari itu . Suasana hatinya tidak menentu persis seperti suasana kota Yerusalem pada saat itu di akhir abad 19. Kejayaan kerajaan Ottoman Turki mulai memudar seiring dengan masuknya pengaruh imperialisme Inggris di belahan Timur Tengah. Siapa dia ? dia kembali bertanya dalam hati. Mimpinya semalam terasa terlalu nyata untuk di diamkan apalagi setelah terjadi dalam dua malam berturut-turut. Langkahnya sedikit melambat sewaktu sekelompok pelajar Yahudi keluar dari sebuah sekolah kitab Taurat. Dia tersenyum dan mensyukuri solidaritas beragama antar umat di kota dimana tiga agama tua dunia berpusat. "Aku akan menunggu mu di sebuah kedai kopi di bagian selatan Kota Tua, dekat Tembok Menangis" demikian pesan yang di ingatnya dari mimpi semalam. Dia kenal dengan pemilik kedai kopi itu, seorang Yunani dan jemaat gereja Yunani Ortodok yang pernah berkunjung ke gereja nya beberapa tahun yang lalu untuk membantunya memasang patung Madonna di altar gerejanya. Hari mulai gelap sewaktu dia sampai di kedai kopi itu. "Shalom" sapa si pemilik kedai dalam bahasa Ibrani sambil menjabat tangan nya. "Shalom, leila tov" sapa nya kembali sambil mengucapkan selamat malam. "Qahwa?" tanya si pemilik kedai menawarkan minuman kopi. "Iya, terima kasih" jawab si pendeta muda sambil matanya memeriksa setiap sudut ruang kedai. Tatapan matanya terhenti pada sebuah meja disudut yang paling dalam dari ruang kedai itu. Seorang wanita duduk seakan tidak terlihat oleh pengunjung lain meskipun dia memakai kostum baju yang seakan berasal dari jaman yang jauh lebih maju. Setelah menerima segelas qahwa dari pemilik kedai dia menghampiri meja itu dan duduk di hadapan wanita tersebut. Penampilannya yang menunjukkan bahwa dia bukan berasal dari jaman itu dan baju kaos dengan tulisan New York Yankees seolah tenggelam dari perhatian orang hanya dengan sebuah selendang yang menutup rambut dan bagian samping dari wajah wanita itu layaknya kebiasaan berdandan wanita Muslim di kota itu. Dia seakan memiliki keahlisan untuk tidak dapat terlihat oleh pengunjung lain di ruangan itu. Wanita itu tersenyum dan berkata "shalom, akhirnya kita bertemu lagi. kamu masih kelihatan sama…". "Anda siapa?….sepertinya telah mengenal ku" pendeta muda itu bertanya dengan sopan sambil menghirup kopi panasnya. Kembali wanita itu tersenyum, sebuah senyum yang sangat ramah dan tulus yang membuat si pendeta merasa pernah mengenalnya. "Shalom, artinya damai kan? aku suka kata itu" katanya. "Aku juga senang kamu masih suka memegang itu" tambahnya lagi sambil menunjuk rosario yang terbuat dari mutiara hitam yang terlilit di tangan kiri pendeta muda. " ..dan masih tetap di tangan kiri, padahal tangan kananmu sudah tidak perlu lagi memegang pedang untuk menghadang serangan musuh -musuhmu" lanjutnya sambil tetap tersenyum. Si pendeta muda tertegun mendengar wanita itu berbicara mengenai rosario nya. Sebuah rosario yang telah dia milik seumur hidupnya dan merupakan warisan yang dia sendiripun tidak yakin atas asal usulnya. "Apa yang anda ketahui mengenai rosario ini?" tanya si pendeta. "Kamu pernah menitipkannya sebentar kepada ku" kata wanita itu "…sewaktu aku membantu mengobati lukamu dari panah yang menembus baju perangmu dalam sebuah pertempuran". Mendengar kata panah tiba-tiba ingatan pendeta muda itu seakan meloncat ke tempat yang jauh di seberang lautan dan ke sebuah waktu yang jauh kebelakang. Sekilas terlihat gambar medan perang dengan latar belakang sebuah benteng kastil di benaknya dan seorang ksatria berambut panjang tergerai menyentuh baju jazirah yang berat dengan pedang terhunus di tangan kanan dan rosario di tangan kiri. Mungkinkan orang itu aku? dia bertanya dalam hati.

"Aku butuh bantuan mu sekarang" kata wanita itu sambil dengan lembut mengambil rosario dari tangan si pendeta muda dan melilitkannya ditangan. ”Bantuan seperti apa?” kata si pendeta muda. “Aku ingin bisa seperti mutiara - mutiara hitam ini” katanya lagi. “Apa maksudmu?” tanya si pendeta muda. ”Tolong bantu aku keluar dari rumah kerangku sehingga aku dapat menyebar kebahagian kepada orang lain dan juga diriku sendiri” kata wanita itu. Terlihat sedikit kesedihan di matanya ketika dia berkata begitu meskipun bibirnya tetap tersenyum ramah. ”Aku bisa membantu mu dengan berdoa untuk mensyukuri apa yang kamu miliki dan untuk dapat mendengar suara hatimu. Dengarkan suara hatimu untuk mencari kedamaian dalam dirimu sendiri sebelum kamu menyebar kebahagian kepada orang lain ” kata si pendeta muda. ”Mungkin kamu tidak merasa, tapi aku melihat mu berdoa bersama seorang anak perempuan kecil dua hari yang lalu” kata wanita itu. Si pendeta muda kelihatan tidak terlalu terkejut dengan pernyataan wanita misterius itu. Dia dapat merasakan bahwa mereka telah saling bertemu dalam sebuah kehidupan yang lain dan sejak itu wanita ini telah beberapa kali hadir di dekatnya tanpa dia sadari.

”Anak perempuan itu merasa kehilangan karena dia merasa tidak ada yang menuntunnya” si pendeta muda menjelaskan kesedihan yang dirasakan oleh seorang gadis kecil yang dia temui sedang menangis di tangga sebuah rumah musim panas yang terletak di luar tembok Kota Tua sekitar dua hari yang lalu. ”Maukah kamu membantuku berdoa seperti itu” tanya wanita itu. “Berdoa denganku seperti yang kamu lakukan dengan gadis kecil itu” pintanya lagi memohon. ”Pasti aku akan membantumu” kata si pendeta muda sambil tersenyum. ”Terima kasih, dan bila aku sedang jauh darimu, peluk aku dengan doamu, ya?” kata wanita itu sambil kembali tersenyum. Kesedihan yang sempat mampir di matanya tadi kini sudah tidak terlihat lagi dan sudah berganti dengan sorot kelegaan. ”Kamu akan pergi lagi?" kata si pendeta muda. ”Iya, aku tidak bisa lama disini, tapi aku pasti kembali menemuimu lagi" wanita itu berjanji sambil tersenyum. ”Kalau begitu aku titipkan lagi rosario ditangan mu itu sampai kita bertemu kembali" kata si pendeta muda. Kali ini mereka berdua tersenyum bersama.

Baca juga "Kota Tua Yerusalem" di sambilngupi! Dua tulisan ini dibuat oleh dua orang dengan sudut pandang yang berbeda. Image reference: The Black Pearl Inc (Jewelry Catalogue)

The re-make of Pillow Talk

Saturday, October 15th, 2005

36_viewSCENE 1
(A view from a window. Wet roof in a rainy afternoon. Drops of water falling from the edge of the roof into a man-made pond below. Koi fishes swim beneath the surface. The ivy covered wall with its spreaded vines and full leaves are wet and looks so green and clean. The smell of wet grass flowing through the open window. The sounds of thunder in a distant from time to time.)

Turn out the light
A lover’s finger tips
Warm and passionate
A clamped oyster shell
Wet and slippery

The rain outside
And a movie classic
A breeze of wind
The smell of wet earth
Mixed with lavender scent


SCENE 2
(Late Morning. Mug of hot coffee on the back terrace. A breeze of wind blows at a newly wet hair fresh from the shower. Scripts from a half done novel on the table, suspended by a several fresh water oyster shells. The sound of Michael Frank from a vinyl being played )

Loosely worn kimono
A peek of soft belly
Its soft fabric
Shaping the curves
And the rounded edges
Scent of lavender
On the smooth skin

SCENE 3
(Half dark air - conditioned room. The rustle of white sheet as cold bare skin seeking comfort and warm underneath. The sound of rain outside. The smell of wet earth flowing through an open bedroom window. A glimpse of Marlon Brando face in an opened cover of Last Tango in Paris DVD.)

Warm breath on a finger tip
The sound of pillows being stacked
The rain outside
Brings the smell of wetness
Lowering guarded feelings
Letting out passionate longing
For touches of pleasures
Just like the rain
Brings wet but warm feelings
On the pond outside
A fish swims underneath the surface
Its skin wet and slippery
Touching the shapes
Tickling the curves
Tingling rounded edges
Exploring inner parts
And like an oyster shell pried open
The round beautiful pearl exposed
Its surface wet and slippery
It is felt and tasted
The taste lingered
On lips and tongue
The smell mixed with lavender scent
The flesh of a loving lover
Reaching final destination
In the center of her universe

Inspired by book 36 Views: A Play, by Naomi Iizuka. Image taken from the book cover design.

A Trilogy: Floating World (3)

Saturday, October 15th, 2005

Koryusais_winter I stopped at a zebra cross waiting for the green light and looked at the corner store watching a visual merchandiser worked on a shoe display for Manolo Blahnik new arrivals. He artistically placed a pair of red patent leather sandal against a black steel stand highlighting the gold metal trim and heel of the sandal. The positioning was in such a way that the passionate red vintage style sandal with its beautiful curve reminded me of a sensual Flamenco dancer. The light switched to green and as I crossed the street I thought about how an insightful positioning combined with memorable visuals could really did the job. Those shoes displays certainly have attracted countless loyal long legged beauties to walked into the store and spent money on shoes that at least equal to two months salary of a blue collar worker. Nevertheless, I could have imagined that there were criticisms from those who effortlessly dismissed this to be just another trivial vanity or worse, a shallow urban chic nonsense.

Approaching my office I realized that the pyramidal needs which set priorities and petty importance sometime worked against each other which made people see things from different frame of mind. A product of a free spirited surroundings often combined with playful childlike thought might seemed mediocre to the eye of a practical rigid mind who puts value on properness. Prestigious achievements between the two poles then could only be understood by how the stars worked the different horoscopes belonging to these souls.

Pushing the door to my building I winked at my receptionist with the pale faced Gothic make up as she mumbled a soft husky good morning to me. I stopped by the pantry to make my second cup of coffee for the day. On the walked up to the duplex section of the office I was greeted with sounds of Jimmy Durante’s “As Time Goes By” competing with Radio Head’s “Hail to the Thief” coming from MP3’s blasted from G5 Mac computers. I smiled at this assemble of the old and new working together creating strange but harmonious unity. Sipping my coffee at my desk I looked through my glass walled room and watched others did their morning routine. As I turned to the window I watched the rain and saw how the window glass stopped the rain from crashing in and created tiny rivers flowing from gravity.

I liked what I did there and I loved the playful and free spirited environment represented that morning by Durante and Radio Head. Strange as it was that probably to another observer but for me it was a representation of "properness" and "free spirit" working together to formed a character that fitted me perfectly. Whether or not it portrayed the same thing on the rest of society’s mainstream was entirely a different story as I often considered myself to be a rather strange character. I did realize that having lived and digested the past days of my life, taking and learning what they had to offer has taken me that duplex on that rainy November morning. It might or might not have been the right place for my soul. The prestigious trade award hanged on the wall may satisfy the soul for the moment but can easily became petty importance the next day. But I knew then that whatever the searched was, the art of happiness was about acceptance and understanding. They were no longer about fictions running around wild but were about learning to understand what I could not accept and to accept what I could not understand. To lived the day with what I knew from yesterday and prayed tomorrow will come as only faith has the control to bring me tomorrow.

There is no rain today as it is now in the middle of July and the sun has set for the day bringing a cooler breeze to what has been a hot and humid day. I am looking out through my window at the street where it is already well lit from the colonial style light poles. From my window I see an owner of a brand new green Volkswagen is getting out of her car parked in that exact space where I parked my car that rainy November morning. Passing my window she goes straight to the newly opened yoghurt and bakery store next door. I turn around and walk back to my desk to get ready to close the shop for the day. I ask one of my staff to call me a cab that will take me to the airport straight from the shop. I am leaving for Italy tonight before continuing to Malta for some new carnations and chrysanthemums adding new inventories for my florist.

  1. Ukiyo-e (pronounced oo-kee-oh-ay) was a style of popular art in Japan during the Edo period, inexpensive and usually depicting scenes from everyday life.

    Ukiyo translates as "floating world" - an ironic wordplay on the Buddhist name for the earthly plane, "the sorrowful world". Ukiyo was the name given to the lifestyle in Japan’s urban centers - the fashions, the high life, and the pleasures of the flesh. Ukiyo-e is the art documenting this era. - Source artcyclopedia.com

Read A Trilogy: Floating World (1) & (2)
Picture reference Japanese Printmaker Koryusai "
Winter"

A Trilogy: Floating World (2)

Saturday, October 15th, 2005

3_beauties_in_the_rain Another two blocks and a few more turns will took me to my office. I felt lucky that driving to work no longer include enduring the stressful busy freeways and major roads some commuters had to take to get to the central business district down town. My thoughts were re-winded to the times when I was one of those commuters several years back. Being just another one in a million suit and tie corporate man trying to climb the corporate ladder. In my case being in the fast pace investment banking world with cuff links and suspender dress code. I supposed I should feel grateful then that I was miles away from the busy freeways and the suit and tie and for being in the trade that had a free spirit ed atmosphere. It was almost three years since I have made partner in a small marketing communication agency. Being one of the first to go into digital marketing has given the agency the edge it needed when corporations finally considering shifting into new media for their communication. Baiting for the big fish clients in the last few years has finally paid off and has given the agency a nice chunk of retainer fees.

My searched for the unknown finally stopped when Carly Simon’s "Itsy Bitsy Spider" came over the car speakers. In another ten minutes or so I would arrived in my destination. It could have been the desire to prolong the journey that all of a sudden have made me decide to walked the rest of the distance and started eyeing for empty parking spaces on the street. Being in the retail block with business’ that mostly opened at ten o’clock I easily found a few empty spaces to park my car. I parked the car in front of a florist that sells imported flowers. While getting out of the car I caught a glimpse of the shop girl carrying imported tulips from Holland and putting them on a display bucket. That reminded me that I should send some flowers to one of my staff who has just given birth the day before. I quickly went inside and ordered some sunflowers to be delivered to the hospital. Pushing the glass door on my way out of the florist I realized that the rain has stopped. Carrying my worn out leather back pack over my shoulder I started walking.

As I walked my mind started to wander again to those years of soul searching or should I said searching for something that was right for my soul. The struggled between choosing a conventional path and the attraction for unconventionalities were like the pain of my existence that I had to go through while growing up. I was still not sure whether it was just naïve ignorance or simply the lack of confidence to go against conventionality that had led me later on to conform to the larger sense of belonging. Surely I thought it was not because of insecurity as I have always found certain comfort with my own insecurities. Somehow recognizing my own fears has helped me to stay focus to my true being. It was like a secret intimacy that existed deep within me and was my creation of the art of happiness and my covert sanctuary whenever I was in doubt with my surrounding.

A large Ukiyo-e portraying Kiyonaga’s art print of Girl Under a Willow on the wall of a fusion sushi place distracted my thought. This briefly took me away from what the Buddhist called the "sorrowful world" to its ironic wordplay, "the floating world" of a 17th centuries Japan - Edo period with its complicated philosophies and sense of Samurai chivalry1. I smiled and thought of my own complexity as comparison. Still staring at the glass covered poster I saw the reflection of me, a man in faded grey corduroy Levi’s wearing a wind breaker over a t – shirt and a Timberland shoes. A far cry indeed from the drawing of a man in dark colored chalked Armani suit and cuff linked white shirt with silk tie. I never did find the passion for suspenders but I did eventually get tiresome of cufflinks and everything else that came with it. It was never me and neither the teakwood paneled cigar – smoked board room nor the fluctuations of the market index had ever given me any significant gratification. The agony of waking up one day and finding me doing something for the sake of doing it and for self security turned out to be more frightening than the thought of losing that security. Suddenly, the art of happiness is merely now just a fiction of my imagination.

Light drizzle has started again and pulling the hood of the wind breaker over my head I continued my steps on the wet cobble stone pavement in the direction toward my building. While abstraction had no real cost, reality did bite. Stepping out of a comfort zone turned out to be more than just carrying the burden of economic consequences but also the requirement to establish a new self – identity which closely resembled the nightmare of an introvert teenager at lost in the jungle of a new high – school. That same lost feeling was a real challenge especially in the planet of creative communication filled with over blown egos that were not only could create legendary campaigns but frequently also disastrous creative landmines. The supposedly combination of art and science between business strategy and creative solution could and often easily mistaken to be the processed to create an award winning fine art project instead. It was a lethal occupational hazard as well as a chaotic war zone. Egos were easily bruised or took a nose dive imitating a kamikaze pilot plunging his plane over the Pacific Ocean into an allied aircraft carrier during World War II. I sometimes marveled how all these could create envious observations to those outside the circle.

Read A Trilogy: Floating World (1) & (3)
Picture Reference Japanese Printmaker Kiyonaga "
Three Beauties in the Rain"